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Thursday, April 7, 2011

Try your hand at fisting?

"Babe sorry for trying to fist you last night": That is the text message my good friend received from her boyfriend the other day.  The conversation began with my friend asking for my opinions on fisting.




"Fisting (sometimes called handballing) is a sexual activity that involves inserting a hand into the vagina or rectum. Once insertion is complete, the fingers either naturally clench into a fist or remain straight. In more vigorous forms of fisting, such as "punching", a fully clenched fist may be inserted and withdrawn slowly. Fisting may be performed with or without a partner" (Wikipedia). 


I said  "it scares me and I think it can easily do serious and permanent damage.  It's one of the few sexual acts I would never attempt".  I feel as though I should continue by following this up by saying that my aversion to personally participating in this sexual fetish does in no way mean that I think others should or shouldn't do it; rather that if they are interested, they should do the necessary research into how to perform it as safely as possible.


[Anal fisting can cause rectal perforation which requires emergency surgery and can lead to infection and possibly death.  To perform fisting as safely as possible, it should be performed with the "fister" wearing a latex (or like) glove and by using appropriate lube and by having an established safe word.]


Since fisting can be seen as a pretty risqué thing - and often viewed as a taboo subject even amongst the most sexual-minded of folk; I was curious how one brings up wanting to fist someone.  I consider myself a very liberal guy, and I was a sexual health educator for 3 years as well as work with people who've been (or are) in the sex trade.  Yet somehow, this is one of the topics I wondered how it was discussed in a sexual way (since I'm more than aware of how to discuss fisting in a sexual health sense).  I mean, it's not like "slipping" into the wrong hole while going at it hard; because a fist - especially a large handed male fist - won't "slip" into an unsuspecting vagina or anus without a LOUD scream and the recipient being left with no sphincter action anymore resulting in needing a lifetime supply of pads to absorb all drainage that will fall out.  So is this a discussion usually done prior to sex just like while "shooting the shit" (dunno if that's even a pun), or is it something that is discussed in the heat of the moment while doing the dirty (that pun was intended lol).  This was my friend's response to my question of how her situation arouse....


My friend:  Moaning while in the throws of ecstasy while being fingered.
Her lover:  "You know I bet if we tried I could fit my whole hand in there".
My friend:  No longer moaning but rather concerned - "WTF?!"
Her lover:  "Oh don't be such a baby".
My friend:  "Let me fist your asshole and you can fist my vag".
Her lover:  "Not going to happen"
My friend:  "Exactly!"  Vag now dryer than the Sahara and no longer even slightly turned on


That's how it went down for my friend, but that's not necessarily how it would go down for most people lol.  It could've had a completely different outcome had the "WTF" changed to a "Ok let's try and make me your marionette!" hahaha.  Or as my other friend said today while we were driving talking about fisting: "If he's fucking you hardcore and then slips out and punches you.....I don't know if you'd notice".  Hahahaha.


I'm REALLY not trying to make fisting seem like some horrible sex act that shouldn't be done or anything, because I totally think if it works for you...work it!  Whatever gets you and your partner off....all the power to ya - even if it's punching power!  I would just hope that while fisting or attempting fisting (just as I hope for all sexual activities) that people know the risks and benefits and are doing everything they can to be as safe as possible.  And just cause fisting isn't for me (or my friend at the moment), doesn't mean that you shouldn't try your hand at it (man these fisting puns are so much fun!)  

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