Search This Blog

Thursday, April 29, 2010

B, WoW, CM and the SSS

I have a really good friend, who I always think of as more of a sister than a friend, but she has a problem.....she's a active member of the Social Suicide Society (SSS, appropriately named this back in high school). This "society" includes people who cannot be separated from their computer and video games on electronic devices, and as a result, isolate themselves leading to social suicide. Now, my great friend "B" is an amazing person....but she loves her some WoW (World of Warcraft). Loves it a little bit too much! EVERY time I talk to her she tells me she' on WoW talking to CM (her lover in San Diego). Even when B and I chat on Skype and she says she misses me, etc and I tell her let's Skype call then and she tells me every time that she can't cause she's talking to CM. UGH! Not even just B always on WoW talking to CM so she can't talk to anyone else in the world, but she also get a little.....focused? Obsessed maybe? lol. She has been known, to forget about me coming to visit and hang out with her for the day and not getting dressed by 3pm because she's playing WoW! And don't get me wrong, I'm all for the jammies till afternoon, but she told me to let her know when I was coming. I told her to be ready by noon cause I'd be coming sometime after that. And then just before I left to catch the bus from my apartment to hers I told her I was on my way (this was around 2) and yet when I get to her house, she was "distracted" playing WoW to get changed. Incase B and anyone else didn't know....addiction treatment centers have whole departments exclusively for WoW addiction!

Treasure Chest in Underwear Drawer

My dresser is completely empty of clothes now and all that remains is the loose, lonely, single socks and my treasure chest of condoms that lay under my underwear usually. There's an assortment to satisfy all needs from Trojans to Trustex to Lifestyle; ultra thin, MAGNUMS, shared pleasure, her pleasure, mint flavour, black and other coloured, banana, vanilla and other flavoured, regular lifestyle, lubes of various flavours and companies and even un-lubed for dental dam fun! This doesn't even begin to show you the literal hundreds of other condoms I have in bags packed away that I got back in my sexual health educator days. lol. If you need a couple, just hollar or stop by...maybe even spend the night ;) lol

Clarence In My Bedroom

As I finish the last bit of packing my bedroom, I come across my accumulation of used needles and IV needles that I have not taken the time to bring to a needle drop-off bin. The IV needles are from the times Emilie and I practice our nursing skills on each other. I know people think this sounds crazy, but to us, we'd rather be better at the skill and not need to practice and poke our patients tons of times. The regular needles are from the monthly allergy injections that I give to myself because I don't have the time to keep my serum at a doctor's office and then go to the clinic every month and wait for my shot; so I give it to myself. The sharps bin I got from the needle exchange in second year and is WAY over its capacity! The time I first got the needles from the needle exchange in second year, the nurse working the site thought I was starting to use drugs (since I had no track marks) and she said it was breaking her heart that such a young kid was getting into street drugs and was turning down all the vitamins, and sterile spoons, etc. The latest batch of needles for my allergy injections was acquired at the Aids Committee of Ottawa. I guess I'll be dropping these off in a drop-off bin before the move.


It's finally here...the last day I'm in this apartment! I've been packing all day today and was till late last night and I'm almost completely packed now. Just have one more load of laundry, pack a couple dished that are left and take my bed and desk apart and I'm done; to wait patiently till Emilie gets here tonight to drink for our last time in this place and watch Brother's & Sisters (our current favourite addiction).
I'm going to miss this place. I kinda feel like I've been in my own apartment alone now for the past week or so since my 3 awesome roommates moved pretty much all their lives out of this apartment into their own places. My move is tomorrow morning. It's definitely going to be weird and need some adjusting to being alone and not being able to seek any of 3 people in the apartment for support or encouragement when life's shitty or when I'm bummed. We also shared in each other's accomplishments and were there for each other through some of the most trying, life changing/defining, happy, sad, fun, and ridiculous times. We've lived together for 3-4 years; I've lived with Carli and Amanda for pretty much 4 years and we've lived with Pam for 3. Our friendships, like the places we've lived, have shifted greatly over the years. We went from the SKETCHIEST place in Ottawa (on Clarence St) with drug addicts, used needles and condoms in the yard, fights in the street out front, drug busts in the back, creepy landlord and the most amazing huge parties in our driveway with the neighbours. To a smaller more quaint location in the Village in Centertown. We have the MOST amazing landlord here, who really was always more of a friend to us than a landlord living downstairs. We had fewer smaller parties that were just as much fun, we grew more individually I think at this new place (where we were safer haha). And now 3 years later....we're all grown up; moving on our own. Pam's moved to the west end with her boyfriend Matt kinda like adults (scary), Amanda's moved not that far from this place now all on her own like a big kid (don't worry we'll do grocery dates so you don't starve!), and Carli has moved to her boyfriend Rob's apartment for the summer while he's gone for the summer to tree plant. We're all close-to, or finished university and moving on from here yet we're still figuring out what the hell we're going to do! lol. I imagine it'll kinda be like this for the rest of our lives....trying to figure out "what's next" and just enjoy the ride as it goes, cause whether you want to or not, the ride's going to keep going. I'll miss my roomies, I'll miss this apartment and Derek (the landlord) but I'll mostly miss the memories and the friendships that we had in here that no matter what, at the end of the day the 4 of us were there for each other when needed. And the ride goes on....

Me, Pam, Amanda, Carli

US Air Force Academy - Tik Tok

And yet they don't want gays in the military? I guess Don't Ask Don't Tell is so these things can keep being choreographed while still TRYING (not very good) to stay "macho".

Hungry Monsters

I have an issue is with hungry monsters! Depending on the breed of these monsters, they are either hairy or smooth and sometimes their owners give them haircuts. Regardless of their "coat", it seems the lips of these monsters CRAVE food! Their food?....toilet paper; and this is why these hungry monsters affect me. I require their food when I defoul the porcelain swimming pool in my bathroom. Sure some of these little monsters have greater desires for food than others, but to some extent, the wet lips of them still get hungry. I have lived for the past 3 years with these monsters and one in particular was RAVENOUS! That thing could, and would often, devour entire roles of TP within a day. Unless I had witnessed it with my own eyes, I would never have believed it. We would many times go through one or more rolls in just one day; however, when I lived at the apartment alone, It would take me almost three times as long to go through the same amount. Their appetites scare me and baffle me all at the same time! Although, despite their insane hunger for toilet paper that I also need (although to a far lesser amount), I know I will miss these sometimes fuzzy and sometimes smooth monsters when I have moved to my new place alone.

Be Thankful

Be thankful that you don't already
have everything you desire.
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?
Be thankful when you don't know something,
for it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.
Be thankful for your limitations,
because they give you opportunities for improvement.
Be thankful for each new challenge,
because it will build your strength and character.

Be thankful for your mistakes.
They will teach you valuable lessons.
Be thankful when you're tired and weary,
because it means yo've made a difference.

It's easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who
are also thankful for the setbacks.
Gratitude can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles,
and they can become your blessings.

- Author Unknown

Me at the Bonhomme Carnival ice sculptures one night

P!nk - I Don't Believe You

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Mark Wahlberg's Catholic Priest Told Him Not To Do Brokeback

Mark Wahlberg turned down the role of Brokeback Mountain because priest advised him not to take the role. Wahlberg in a 2007 interview:

"I met with Ang Lee on that movie, I read 15 pages of the script and got a little creeped out. It was very graphic, descriptive - the spitting on the hand, getting ready to do the thing. I told Ang Lee, 'I like you, you're a talented guy, if you want to talk about it more...' Thankfully, he didn't...I didn't rush to see Brokeback, it's just not my deal... Obviously, it was done in taste - look how it was received."

Now, the National Enquirer reports that Wahlberg turned down the role on the advice of his priest:

"The 38-year-old reformed bad boy relies on his closest confidante and longtime religious mentor, the Rev. James Flavin, to help him pick and choose his parts. 'Mark is a practicing Catholic, and he never makes a final decision on a starring role until Father Flavin gives his OK,' an insider revealed to The Enquirer. 'Mark says he owes his career to Father Flavin.' ... 'Father Flavin pushes Mark to honor his religious roots,' said the source. 'Even though Mark was offered one of the leads in Brokeback Mountain, he passed because of the gay subject matter, which clashes with Catholic doctrine.'"

Of course, playing a coke and meth-addicted hustler with a 10-inch penis in Boogie Nights was fine.


I've heard talk of this so-called "Spartacus" tv show. I finally found it online last week and I can't stop watching it now! It's got EVERYTHING every show should have; lots of sex, nudity with full frontals all the time, gorgeous bodies, fighting and tons of blood! If anyone's into any of those things I HIGHLY suggest watching this show!

Being a Nurse

"Being a nurse isn't about grades; it's about being who we are. NO book can teach you how to cry with a patient. NO class can teach you how to tell a family that their parents have died or are dying. NO professor can teach you how to find dignity in giving someone a bed bath. A nurse is NOT about the pills, the IV's and the charting; it's about being able to LOVE people when they are at their WEAKEST moments and being able to forgive them for ALL their wrongs and make a difference in their lives today. No one can make you a nurse...YOU JUST ARE."
- Anonymous
Ryan Berry

Sacrifice Sleep

So I'm up this morning earlier than I want, on a day I can sleep in as late as I want - NOT IMPRESSED! Why is it that every time I want to sleep in and get lots of sleep, I wake up early and the days I plan to get to bed early I don't actually go to bed till super late? For example....last night I was planning to go to bed kinda early-ish since I've not been getting good sleep. I was in my room sitting on my bed ready for sleep and everything; the problem? I was on the phone with Lacey talking about everything. I talk to her for hours every single day; on skype for hours every day (usually multiple times), texting and on the phone. How do we ALWAYS have something to talk about? lol. Then I was on Facebook while on the phone with Lacey in bed, and was chatting to Angelique about cooking with semen (check out yesterday's blog post). Ange is just as crazy as I am and that makes me SUPER pumped to move with her to Australia next year! And on top of all these things I was doing instead of sleeping, I then was talking to Beavers on Skype. Since I hadn't talked to him in a long time I was really excited and wanted to talk lots and focus my attention on that convo, so I got off the phone and Facebook and was just on Skype chatting. It was SO GREAT to talk to Beavers again like we used to all the time (he's been crazy busy with school and we've barely talked over the past few weeks). In the end, I didn't end up going to bed finally till after 3:00 sometime. I guess, since people are really important to me, my friends talk a HUGE priority over sleep. I don't live near these amazing people and so I'll sacrafice anything for a moment to spend with them. My friends and family are BY FAR the most important thing to me and I'll have endless sleepless nights if with them I can talk, see, chat, hangout with, etc. Although, this still doesn't answer why I can't sleep in....stupid body! lol
Lacey and I

Natural Harvest - A Collection of Semen-Based Recipes$24.95

Ships in 3–5 business days
Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties. Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic. Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants. Despite all of these positive qualities, semen remains neglected as a food. This book hopes to change that. Once you overcome any initial hesitation, you will be surprised to learn how wonderful semen is in the kitchen. Semen is an exciting ingredient that can give every dish you make an interesting twist. If you are a passionate cook and are not afraid to experiment with new ingredients - you will love this cook book!

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Fun Times in Windsor

Check it out under "Stories" on the right!

"There is enough for all. The earth is a generous mother; she will provide in plentiful abundance food for all her children if they will but cultivate her soil in justice and in peace."
- Bourke Coekran


I'm a YouTube fanatic and have wasted countless hours on YouTube not looking at anything in particular and just looking at recommended videos and searching random shit (keep in mind I don't have a tv). One day last week I was watching a video where Katie Couric was interviewing Ellen (I LOVE Ellen YouTube videos) and in the interview it comes up how Ellen has been a vegan for either 4 or 7 years I can't remember, but she said that the documentary Earthlings is the thing that turned her to veganism. Katie then asked Ellen if she's seen Food Inc. (which I had seen before and thought was pretty gross) and Ellen responded by saying that "Food Inc is the Disney version of what actually happens". I naturally wanted to watch Earthlings even though I kinda knew that this would change my outlook on food. But, my curiosity for the better of me and I found Earthlings on YouTube and began watching it. I was literally in shock the entire movie! I watched with mouth open in shock as HORRIBLE, CRUEL things happened to animals. NEEDLESS suffering was happening before my eyes and it was destroying my soul (as corny as this sounds). I was sending some texts to Emilie while watching this explaining the atrocities I was witnessing. She called me while I was still near the beginning section of the movie and within 30 seconds I broke down and was crying on the phone about how horrible everything was and the things we support and put these fellow "earthlings" through. I literally had to stop the movie two times because I almost threw up! Not even kidding this video scarred me forever! I kid you not! And anyone who's seen any of it can attest to this. I could not fathom why these helpless animals were needlessly put through so much pain and suffering with no attempt or concern for them in ANY way. This documentary covers everything that we use animals for; from cows, pigs, chicken, fish, etc for food, to medical experiments and science, to clothing and entertainment. This movie has led me to be more conscious about everything; the world, my life, my impact. I definitely don't eat meat anymore when I can help it and and any animal products I do use now I am learning to be aware of how they were obtained and that they received better treatment than the majority. I don't recommend that everyone watch this documentary because I do really believe it's scarring and not everyone can handle it. I do think that people should be open and receptive to educate themselves whenever they can. I don't think it's good enough to say "I don't wanna watch it cause I like meat too much". I totally understand and get the arguments that people have about eating animals and using them; however, there is still no reason to to inform yourself. I am content if people educate themselves and still decide they like meat and will continue eating it, because they made and educated decision. The people who aren't willing to do that at least are being ignorant and I think that is an injustice to their intelligence and human. I told Emilie not to watch it knowing that it would scar her far worse than myself and yet for the same reason that I did, her curiosity got the best of her and she started watching it. She couldn't even watch the video but only listen while it was on and she did something else. Soon, even listening to what was going on was too much for her and she could no longer watch it. So now, I am seriously warning people that this video is scarring and is not for everyone; however, I have attached the first segment from YoutTube for those that do want to use Earthlings to educate themselves (there are 10 segments). You were warned.

Oh My God

LOVE this song! LOVE Michael Franti!

"Dance To This Song" - (Official) KevJumba, Wong Fu Productions, David Choi

Doesn't it make you wanna dance?! haha

Ontario nurses say 2,000 jobs have vanished!

Over the past 12 months, Ontario has lost over 2,000 nursing jobs which equates to over 4 MILLION hours of nursing care.....just great! Check it out!

Ontario nurses say 2,000 jobs have vanished

Over the past 12 months, Ontario has lost over 2,000 nursing jobs

Mom's Cookie Packages

They always say the first step is admitting you have a problem. Well I have a problem. I am addicted to cookies! Cookies are my favourite food group and there is nothing in the world that tastes better than cookies! I can eat them all the time, any time (except when I'm sick. That's how you can tell something's wrong with me lol). And I have the best mother to enable my addiction. It started when I was leaving to university in 2006 and my mom and just gotten me a cook book called "The Cookie Bible". She knew that living in rez that I wouldn't be baking cookies so she foolishly, but to my SUPREME HAPPINESS, promised me that she would bake and send me a batch of cookies every two weeks. And she did! Every two weeks I would be excited to see that paper slip in my residence mailbox saying I had a package. I'd take the box upstairs and quickly open it to reveal what marvels laid inside this package. This Marc's Mom's Package ritual because a pretty well known hoopla on my floor and it was common to have 3 or 4 people in my room to see what she had sent "this time" (they also knew they'd be offered cookies if they were around lol). And every parcel had a new type of cookie from The Bible. Then after moving out of rez into my first place with roommates, I though the cookies would stop; they didn't! Mom's cookie packages still come (and still come!) very frequently; sure they don't come on a regular 2 week schedule anymore, but they still come! I think mom knows that cookies have a hold over me that I can't get out of (not that I'd try to escape the delicious babies). When I'm depressed or stressed, I get cookies. When I'm happy and loving life, I get cookies. When I've not been home in awhile, I get cookies. Hell I got cookies last week and then today I got a package in the mail and the only thing in the box?......cookies! My mom and her boyfriend made cookies for me and my siblings (I think every once and awhile she feels guilty for not sending them as many lol) and she sent a batch to my friend Lacey in St. Catherine's. This isn't the first time she's sent cookies to friends of mine, and I doubt it's the last. I love having such an enabling mother and that her partner believes in enabling my habit too! I started this batch of cookies and I imagine they will all be gone by the end of tomorrow (if they make it till then), and I'm already looking forward to the next batch! I become animal like when the cookie boxes arrive and pretty much tear everything apart just to get to them (as you can tell from the photo). So if anyone needs anything from me....just give me cookies and I'll do it!

Monday, April 26, 2010

Brother Gone

You're gone away to a place known by few.
You're going away and I don't want you to.
There's nothing I can do to keep you here with me.
I know that you need to go; protect the brave and free.
I can't explain with words how I feel inside;
a mix of sadness, fear, anger, jealousy and pride.
I hold back sobs, I hold back tears, like a dam about to burst.
I know you're smart, I hope for the best, but I fear the worst.
You're in my prayers all the time, and there you'll always stay.
Not a second will pass when I don't think of you, while you're gone away.
This symbol on my finger, is where it'll always be;
it's more than just a bond, it's a pact you'll return to me.
When times are tough while you're gone away, we just have to remember...
It feels long now but time will fly, and I'll see you in November.
I'm proud of the man you've become, to do what you're gone to do.
Just know every moment I think of you, and brother I love you.

March 2010

Magic Masturbation

So awhile ago Emilie and I were at a new age store in the Market called New Dawn. This place has everything from healing crystals, incense, tarot cards, wands, and magic potion ingredients, to books, religious artifacts, and jewellery. We were looking through everything and came to the book section and went through a number of them; trying learn magic spells and stuff. I found this one book that had a section about "magical sex". In this section it talked about auras and energies and what not, but the interesting part was it talked about magical orgasms for men (like they're not already magical lol). It described this process of being really aware of your body and then when you're on the verge of cumming you contracts your glutes, your pelvic floor and your abs (and you can optionally press on your choata for help when learning to focus). So naturally I had to try this magic orgasm out! That night when I was in the comforts of my own room, I was doing the deed and was "focusing my energies on my body and sensations". When I was close to erupting, I decided I would cum into a sock to avoid a mess (not believing this book I had read). I did what the book said and contracted my ass, pelvis and abs and came. When I was done, I looked in the sock and couldn't see anything. In disbelief, I slide my hand into the sock only to discover it completely dry! I had done it....I had a magic orgasm! Like a legit magic one! (Well according to this wiccan book anyways lol). I have since tried it one other time and it then too worked! Either I performed magic while choking my chicken, or I'm very experienced and focused while jerking.
"The truth is, everyone's going to hurt you.. you just have to find the ones worth suffering for"

Old Spice | The Man Your Man Could Smell Like

See Channing Tatum's Secret Stripper Past

In honour of his birthday, I'm posting his old stripper days. (He really wants to make a movie about his stripper days for anyone who cares)

Happy Birthday Channing Tatum!

Chan turns 30 today! I know I'll still look that good at 30.

Nursing Grad Formal

Our nursing grad formal was at the beginning of April and it was a ridiculous night! Not gunna lie...I really didn't want to go to it; however, it ended up being tons of fun.....I think. haha. Emilie and I dressed to be tacky to make the night more fun and we drank lots before going to the make the night more fun! lol. We pre-drank at Laurice's while we got ready. Caro gave us a ride to the formal (I didn't even know where the event was until 3 days later...That drunk! lol). The food was really good, the decor was lacking, but I think I WAS the dance floor! After the formal we went back to Laurice's, and I think we drank and chilled. Then we tried to go to the bar Heaven but it was closed so I got us to go to The Honest Lawyer. There I somehow had multiple drinks on the go at once (without spending a dollar). Meanwhile Emilie was off beating the entire bar at air hockey! At some point we left that bar to try and get into another, although I'm told that this was my fault and it was 1:50am so clearly we didn't get in. haha. Then I was at McDonald's and met friends there randomly and apparently made a new one (as I found out via facebook when I RE-met this friend lol). I even apparently almost got in a fight with a drunken Irish guy to "protect" this new friend of mine (God I'm nice!). From there....I ended up home? Woke up naked, on top of my bedding and my formal clothes were all folded neatly on my chair. How considerate drunken me was! lol. All in was a fun night!

Appear out of Nowhere!

I always wonder how and where giant cranes come from. One day everything's normal in the sky and then BAM the next morning there's a 100 foot crane towering in the sky. It's like they appear out of nowhere! I always wondered how they get there. Do they drive? Cause I've never seen one going down the road (and I don't think they'd fit under overpasses. And they don't look like they shrink down; so how do they get to their destination and then one day after their job is done vanish again!?

Elliott blowing bubbles
          during 420

Alledgedly Gay Twin Brother Of Late Polish President To Run For Office

Jaraslaw Kaczynski, the allegedly gay twin brother of late Polish President Lech Kaczynski, plans to run to replace him, the Associated Press reports:

"Jaroslaw Kaczynski said he will run to continue the mission of his brother and others killed in the crash. 'The good of Poland is a common duty that requires an ability to overcome personal suffering, to undertake the task despite a personal tragedy,' Kaczynski said. 'This is why I have taken the decision to run for the president of Poland. I have the family's support in this decision."

New Pope Benedict Condoms?

The Pope's visit to the UK in September will go on as planned, despite the disclosure over the weekend of a memo written by a staffer at the British Foreign Office which mocked Benedict and the Vatican, suggesting a provocative itinerary which included the launch of a line of Pop condoms, the blessing of a gay civil partnership, open an abortion ward, and a speech on equality.

Four-Leaf Clover

On hands and knees with face to the ground;
searching for the clover like a basset hound.
The four-leaved clover is the goal, is the aim;
going through the ocean of 3's just like a game.
Find the four-leaf clover is what needs to be done.
Looking down. This way - that way; my head is spun.
There it is! 1,2,3,4. But I've gone through this often before.
One blends with one, then two with some more.
That clover, like the last clover, has three but no more.
Check around the tree that stands in the ocean.
The thought that it's found when it's not, brings such emotion.
Searching through life for that one special clover.
The hunt led me to beauty so I wouldn't do over.
Even when I walk into the tree,
I am so focused on green that I don't even see.
The hunt is for the clover, not trees in my way.
I'll open my eyes. I will. One day.
I'll finally look up from this cloned sea of clover.
In an instant, that moment, the search will be over.
The feeling indescribable of words from any land.
The beauty overtakes my knees, I can hardly stand.
Blossoms of red, white, and pink float in the air.
Now that I notice, all I can do is stare.
Seeing it now, is really hard to get over.
You're the cherry tree in my field of clover.

February 2010
"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends" - Martin Luther King Jr.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Happy Birthday Post-It Notes!

Today is the 30th anniversary for Post-it notes! Let's all celebrate their usefulness by wasting more paper and writing something to ourselves!

Cookbook yanked after including ground black people in pasta recipe

Cookbook yanked after including ground black people in pasta recipe
Me showing my amazing Baba mac photo booth!

Michael Franti & Spearhead - Say Hey (I Love You)

Listen and enjoy!

Matt Damon's Foot = My Foot

Just like Matt Damon except my hands are bigger.

Just when you think we're taking one step forward...

When I first heard that sexual education was going to be extended to start teaching first graders in Ontario I was happy that we're FINALLY getting this right. All research shows that teaching sex-ed to children, as long as it is age sensitive language, has highlighted time and time again to reduce the likelihood of teen pregnancy and it also has been researched that earlier sex-ed leads to later sexual debuts than not providing true sexual health information. Yet here we are, 2 days later taking those two steps back. By taking back the proposed plan to include grade one for sexual education, it not only is an injustice to those children, but it also tells people that homosexuality, sexual orientation, masturbation, and all the other topics the conservatives and religious groups don't want children educated on, are wrong. It just saddens me that there was that glimmer of hope that maybe we'd start doing something right on the sexual health front that we are so far behind in.....but alas no.

California: Illegal Immigrants to NHL locker rooms

I was in California in March with Emilie for our Spring Break for 9 days; we stayed with her Cousin. It was an AMAZING trip and I'm already planning on going back. Emilie's cousin used to play for the LA Kings and now works as the tv broadcaster for them. They supplied us every night with what felt like, and endless supply of wine for our pre-drinking before hitting up a bar on the pier down the road where they make their drinks just like I do! Not used to bars in LA, us Canadians order two double rum and cokes (my favourite drink), and the bartender says "you're not from here are you?". After we tell him we're from Canada he tells us that we don't need to order doubles there and proceeds to make our drinks with half rum, just how I like it; where the coke is added just for colouring. The drinks were awesome and SUPER cheap! (only $3 each). The bar was a punk rock bar, and even though my polo shirt and jeans and Emilie's bar top and jeans didn't really fit in, the bar was so dark that nobody could even tell. haha. We went back to this bar a few times over our trip.
We also got to go to two LA Kings games while there! We had VIP treatment and access to all these areas that we would never have found if Emilie's cousin and her friend didn't take us! haha. We sat in amazing seats; including third row in for one period where we were so close we saw things like how Doughty plays with his tongue sticking out haha. After the games we had locker room access; so we got to go downstairs and meet the players and get autographs, etc. AMAZING! Meeting hockey players at the locker room....definitely a check in the awesome life activity column!
One night we went for supper with Suzzie and Jim (Em's cousins). They wanted to take us for supper on one of the piers so we could have supper together and watch the sunset. The sunset was beautiful and so was the three bottles of wine that Jim, Em and I had with supper! After the second bottle we were drunk and supper was done and we were just about to leave, when the owner of the restaurant came over (cause he knew Jim and Suzzie) and was talking to us. He insisted that he get us a bottle on the house. Even though we told him we were leaving he insisted and we obviously caved. lol. He brought this blue wine bottle and talked about the wine. Emilie leaned over to me and whispered "remember the name of this wine, it's so good!" To which I just replied "Emilie, we'll NEVER afford this wine again, it's over $1000!" hahaha. After that third bottle, we headed around the corner to a bar and had a couple drinks there while chatting, then we headed home. At home emilie was getting ready for our going out that night and I told her I was just going to nap for a little before we leave. When we woke up, yes WE were both asleep, it was already 1:00am! We were so angry at ourselves and each other for sleeping in when we were planning to go dancing that night. We walked to the pier to cool off and while sitting on the fence watching the ocean, two random guys came up and asked if we had a light. They proceeded to tell us that they're chilling in the park if we wanna go with them cause we look we did. We arrived to a picnic table in the park with a girl puking on the ground and a guy standing by the table (this was "Louisiana"). One of the guys that was with Em and I was the brother of pukee magee on the ground and they were both illegal immigrants from Venezuela. I don't remember which state the other guy was from. And later in the night after I bought booze at the pharmacy with Diego (one of the aliens), a guy who looked 15 came to party with us in the park dressed in a suit and talking about sex and drugs; but he looked like a child so Em and I couldn't take him seriously. We partied all night in that park, talking about Louisiana and his pet alligators, and his children, and getting stabbed, we debated the healthcare system and political systems in the States and about life in general. Turned out our great then shitty night, turned out really fun despite now dancing. Who needs dancing when you've got illegal immigrants!?

Mutual Sex Theory

So there's this theory that Emilie and I have and it just keeps proving true time and time again; it's called the Mutual Sex Theory. In February 2009, Emilie and I were in Cuba for Spring break and we both hooked up with someone at the same time (not the same person though hah), and that caused our cosmic sex karma, or something, to go all crazy and after that we can no longer have mutual consistent sex lives. Only one of us can be having a consistent sex life while the other is doomed to abstinence or just a random sexual encounter here and there, but nothing constant; however, if the abstinent one started to have a constant sex life, then the former's sex life would end and the positions in this continuous sexual battle would take place. Unbelievable, I know. Sounds more like a coincidence? Here are the facts (for the purpose of the facts, abstinent doesn't mean ACTUALLY abstinent, just mean not a consistent sex life; AS IF we'd be abstinent! haha):
Me with Michael March - July (Constant) - Emilie (Abstinent)
Me with Brampton July - September ( Constant) - Emilie with Ahmed (Abstinent)
Me with Marc October - November (Constant) - Emilie (Abstinent)
Emilie with Rob October - April (Constant) - Marcus with Allen November - January (Abstinent)
Me with Mike March - Present (Constant) - Emilie (Abstinent)
So now I'm in the "Constant" position in this mutual sex game of Life that the gods are playing and I'm FREAKING OUT!! I don't want my sex life to be in the hands of Emilie! lol. I can't handle knowing that as soon as she finds someone to do the dirty with on an on-going basis that I'll stop having sex again (and it's GREAT sex!). Emilie and I were SOOOO close to breaking the cycle this time, but on 420, Em told Elliott Rob's name and Elliott told us that he knew him and that Rob has a girlfriend. So clearly that constant fell apart on the spot. Rob was even supposed to be "hanging out" with Emilie the following week and then this whole curse would be broken! But noooooo, Emilie had to go and tell Rob's name and continue with this shitty cycle. So I'm thinking, Em and I just need to go back to Cuba and hook up again simultaneously and everything will be right with the world! lol. Until we find the way to both success in this, I'm going to continue my constant sex life on edge, potentially sabotaging any of Emilie's prospects. hahaha.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Favourite Balcony TIme of Day

I LOVE sitting out on my balcony! Last summer when I was staying in Ottawa for the summer (alone for much of it), I decided to wrap Christmas lights around it so that even at night I could sit out there and chill, or drink with friends and still be able to see each other but more importantly our drinks. For the first month of the summer I didn't have a job so I pretty much spent my days as a "housewife". I would wake up, shower, eat breakfast and have my morning tea (I don't drink coffee, it makes me feel all weird) on the balcony, then I would open a bottle of wine and clean the apartment while drinking (this "drinking" will be a trend, you'll see); when the place was clean I'd grab my book and sit on the balcony with my glass of wine reading till I'd inevitably get tipsy and need to stop reading cause I'd start getting a headache and the words would move. I'd then watch tv or just chill, till my friends were done working for the day and I could hang out with them, or my partner at the time would invite me to some event or fancy dinner like one of The Real Housewives of Ottawa. I still use the balcony a lot, WAY more than any of my roommates, but I don't use it quite the same drunken way anymore (not that I don't drink, I just don't drink on the balcony anymore lol). I now drink my tea out there and will chill reading or talking on Skype with friends in other cities. But my favourite thing to do is people watch! I live on a one-way street that has a pretty steady flow of people and car traffic without being crazy busy. There's a half-way house three doors down and a children's daycare across the street. And as creepy as it favourite time of the day on the balcony is around 5:00pm when the sun's still out and it's still nice; I'm usually on Skype of Facebook chatting, but my main distraction is the parents picking their kids up from daycare. I play the game "guess which kid belongs to that parent" and I must say I'm not too bad at it! hahaha. I know, I know, this all sounds uber creepy. But it's so entertaining! Not only is it prime people watching time, and I can entertain myself with stupid games, but it's also the time when the noisy, bratty kids leave my street and I don't have to hear them screaming and playing anymore.....till tomorrow when they'll wake my up in the morning regardless if the windows and doors are closed or not. I love 5:00pm balcony time, cause it's my creepy, fun way of saying bye to the ankle-snappers who cut short my sleeps too often. Oh, how I'm going to miss this balcony time when I move.....although I imagine it'll be nice to not be woken up by banshee screams in the morning.

Ricky Martin is a Gay ... Outing Celebrities By GloZell

I LOVE GloZell!! I would love to meet her and hang out! I cry watching her videos! Hope you enjoy!

Rude Boy by Rihanna Translation by GloZell

Kesha Blah Blah Blah Lyrics Translation... by GloZell

Translate Kesha Tick Tock Lyrics .... GloZell

Start of Success!

So this is my first blog post on my first blog! (Not really sure if that's the right lingo). I hope I even post this properly haha. I'm making this blog because it's the closest I can get to my own reality tv show. When this blog becomes famous enough though, I know they'll be trying to get the show started. Also, my blog is named "My Life is Ridiculous!" mainly because it's true! haha Also, as a few of my friends know, I've planned on writing an autobio titled that, full of short stories that I have been through and survived through that are RIDICULOUS! And people (yes I know that TONS of people will be reading this VERRRRY shortly)...please bear with the beginning phases of this blog while I figure out how to post things and make it better! This blog will keep you updated on mine and my friends' lives as well as anything I think is interesting or wanna let you in on. Enjoy!