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Friday, May 7, 2010

Shit! Where's My Shit?!

The other day I was on the phone with Lacey and we were talking about how it had been a few days since I'd shit; this is a VERY rare thing with me! Emilie always calls me a very efficient shitter cause I've got control over my shitty bowels like it's nobody's business....but not for 3 days. For some reason it just wasn't coming! And I had no clue why. All I had been eating lately is very healthy foods; mainly lots of veggies. As most people know, ever since my parasite that I got while in Panama in grade 11, my issue hasn't really been not shitting, but rather how to turn the faucet off whenever my stomach issues are acting up again. I think it had been close to 10 years since I can remember NOT shitting! It was stressing me out! So, the other day, I was determined to shit! All I ate was LOTS of fibre, spinach, fat-free popcorn, flax seeds, you name it! And I was eating it on my exercise ball to keep everything moving, and I was also eating standing up - "come on gravity I need your help!" I was drinking tons of water and huge glasses of tea to get the caffeine moving things. (Grossed out yet? lol. DEAL WITH IT! It's life, it happens. Shit happens! In this case, it wasn't though.) I started Operation Shit in the early afternoon, and after having to get off the phone with Lacey multiple times due to many false alarms, at around 11:12pm I SHAT! Hahaha. That's right, it took my whole evening up and I'm pretty much an old man, who's day plans are to shit....but I SHAT! I was so happy! i texted Emilie and Lacey to let them know (I'm sure they were very worried! lol). Now I'm back to my "regular" self! I wish you all a successfully shitty Friday!

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